…today’s secret…The Twelve Stages of Intimacy.
A behavioral scientist named Desmond Morris once codified the 12 stages, or steps, of intimacy.
It was his answer to why some couples stay together for a lifetime while other couples divorce.
He believed those who stayed together had followed these 12 progressions of intimacy, allowing sufficient time before advancing to the next stage. Rush through the stages and couples were far more likely to divorce.
Progression through the stages must be voluntary by both parties. A single stage may be skipped, but not more than one. You may go from stage 4 to 6, but not from 4 to 7. Push too far, too fast, and you might go to jail. Stage 1 to 11?
1.Eye to body
2.Eye to eye
3.Voice to voice
4.Hand to hand
5.Hand to shoulder
6.Hand to waist
7.Mouth to mouth/ Face to face
8.Hand to head
9.Hand to body
10.Mouth to body
11.Hand to your no-no body part. (I paraphrased)
12.Adult expressions of love (paraphrased again)
Let’s look at these 12 stages as they relate to the people you are helping to work and play well with other.
The first 4 stages are about you and your potential participant/applicant becoming aware of each other with the potential of maybe moving on.
Stages 5 and 6 are the personal contact stages where a comfort level is struck and familiarity is gained.
Stage 7 is the where the deal is struck by both parties to move forward.
Stages 8 thru 12 is where the depth of intimacy is determined.
The lesson here is that the strongest relationships are those that allow sufficient time for each stage.
Intimacy is patient and considerate, never pressing more on the other person than the person desires. It’s the language of seduction.
Are you a wooer?