…today’s secret…T-Shirts, sweatshirts, and doormats.

Every holiday season I request and receive tons of direct marketing catalogs who sell the unusual.

Here’s a list of one-liners that I could have purchased on either a t-shirt, sweatshirt, or doormat this Christmas for my family or friends.

Moses was the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.
I’m going to lie down under the tree to remind my family I’m a gift.
Hold on. Let me overthink this.
I bought a chicken from one website and an egg from another. I’ll let you know.
Nurse: The first person you see after saying, “Watch this!”
RN: Cute enough to stop your heart. Skilled enough to restart it.
I had a hen who could count her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken.
Mothers of little boys work from Son up to Son down.

I’m not arguing. I’m explaining why I’m right.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Sometimes I talk to myself and then we both laugh and laugh.
Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.
Send a text when you arrive. No need to knock and get the dog involved.
Bigfoot saw me, but nobody believes him.
My emotional support animal is a chicken. A two piece. With biscuit.
I don’t brag about expensive trips, but I DID just return from the gas station.

And my personal favorite…

…What if they are NOT stars…but holes poked into the top of a container so we can breath?

Today’s afterthought…

There is still time before Christmas to do something good for a person who has done nothing to deserve it. Better yet, do something good for someone you don’t even like.

Merry Christmas.