…today’s secret…The ProSocial Six Trap. (Part 3 of 3)

Happy Thanksgiving…

Over the last four weeks I have introduced you to six factors which measure how prosocial a person is. These six factors emanate from criminal justice research.

I call these six the ProSocial Six.

The more that a person has in each of the six factors the better they work and play well with others.

Last week I implied that your organization may have fallen into the ProSocial Six Trap…

…believing that your work under one of these six factors is the direct route to unmarginalizing your chosen marginalized.

Last week I used Henry David Thoreau’s words to imply that your organization may only be ‘hacking’ at the branches rather than ‘striking’ at the root when helping people.

I promised this week to show you how to keep ‘hacking’ but start getting to the ‘root.’

Here goes.

One of the challenges you face is that the people you are trying to help hide their past in order to gain your benefit or to cover their troubled past.

If they would talk with you, they would tell you they are nobodies in a world of somebodies. They feel they don’t belong, aren’t seen for who they are, and what they think doesn’t matter.

So, go ahead. Put them to work, counsel them, teach them, tell them about God if that is what you choose to do.

All good.

But, know this, with these efforts you are hacking at their branches and the root you want to strike lies deep within them.

They want to be accepted. Included. Understood. Recognized. They want to feel safe. And they want some hope to emerge from a hopeless past.

Give it to them.

In your own way let them know they are worthy of loving and being loved.

Talk less and listen more. Watch their actions. When you see something they are good at, tell them. Give them encouragement and loyal support.

Spoiler alert: My friend Jeff says that “Trauma not transformed is transferred.”

It is highly doubtful you have the time or financial resources to get to the root of the root where their real trauma lies.

That’s OK. This should not stop you from giving the people you are helping a little spark-of-life. The more sparks people in your organization ignite the more fires will break out.

Wouldn’t that be great?

Don’t let your organization fall into the ProSocial Six Trap.

Yes, hack at the branches and be good at it. But, don’t ignore the root.

You want to empower people and give them confidence to face their future with a smile and gritted teeth. You want them to be stronger and happier.

Good for you.

I know you care about this because you keep reading me each week. Thanks for that.

Next week: Maslow was no turkey.