…today’s secret…Bad memories.
The people you are trying to help lie and hide to you because they want your benefits or to cover a troubled past.
At the end of your first interview ask them to “have a nice yesterday.”
Then tell them what you mean by it.
Remember in school when a rumor started and by the time it got all around school it was totally changed from the original telling?
Memories are like that. They change each time they are recalled. Your brain doesn’t allow you to remember the event exactly, but what you remembered the previous time.
Your slightly changed memory now becomes embedded as real. That is, until you next recall it. Pretty soon you’ll be remembering moments that really didn’t happen.
The marginalized want a different future from their past. They need to ponder their past failure only if they want to recreate it. One secret to their creating a different future is for them to start remembering happier events from their past.
And no, I’m not one of those positive-thinking Pollyannas. However, I do believe that our ability to imagine the future is linked to our memories of the past.
Musicians and athletes have known this for years; “The way you practice is the way you’ll play.”
There’s a good chance the people you are helping may do what they have been remembering.
This starts by you wishing them to “have a nice yesterday.”