to day’s secret…Avoiding verbal minefields.
Not everyone is going to like you.
This happens to all of us in today’s culture.
Here’s a technique that can reduce face-to-face misunderstandings.
Prior to launching your feelings about someone or some subject, ask the person on the other end of your words….
“How strongly do you feel about _?”
They anwer with a number because both of you know the code and are willing to tell the truth.
One: None. I have no emotional attachment here.
Two: Yes, I have an opinion.
Three: Be careful here. I have feelings that cannot be changed.
They say, “I’m about a 1.2. How about you?”
You, on the other hand, tell them that you are a “solid 2.6.”
You now know they haven’t put much thought into it and you can take it where you want.
They know you have a serious opinion you want to discuss that should not be dismissed lightly.
My experience is that if both answers are around a 1 then let the banter and fun begin, but…
…if both answers are in the 2.5 range, then you both have hammer cocked loaded pistols aimed at the other.
Hopefully, your feelings are mutual around this 2.5 level. If not, your
relationship could be quickly blown to bits.
In today’s world no one needs to stumble into a verbal minefield where
feelings run deep when they don’t have to.
Share the code?
Save time? Save relationships?
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